Letter #2 "Wake up call"

Hey you!

Yeah, you.You listen to me, and you listen real good. I'm fed up with all the crappy lies, the pain, the sheer sorrow of trying.
It stops now. I don't care if the weather says differently, if I don't want it to rain, then dammit, my sun is going to shine! And if you think your world is collapsing, think again, because it could be oh so much worse than you think!
You hate yourself? Great job, but guess what, you're probably the only one! Other people care about you! Oh, you did something to make them mad? Then get of that lazy ass and start making things right!

I don't care do you believe in God or not, he ain't helping you clean up your own mess! You don't have the strength? Find it! The only person responsible for you is you! You had bad luck in your life? No shit! We all have ups and downs, it's the way you deal with them that counts!

You dream of a better life? Stop dreaming! Go do it! It won't grow legs and come itself! Wake up call!
You're waiting for a sign? Here's a sign for you:

Happy? Enough with the excuses, and enough with giving up! Even trying counts!
This is not a mellowy, cutesy letter. This is a rude wake up call.
So wake up.

Cicmila

Letter #1 "Memories"

My most perfect,

I remember the day I met you, I remember the wish you made while we were looking at the stars together, when we didn't even know each others names. But it didn't matter. It never mattered. Words were not worthy. They simplified a thousand times that what we wanted to say.

I remember your hair was messed up with some leaves and grass. You looked so beautiful. The city beneath us was wrapped in mist, and it was like we were above the skies, in heaven or some place similar. I know you never liked the idea of heaven. You said it makes people less interested to find peace in this world.

But the scene is what matters. Two of us, two complete strangers, both feeling a soul mate nearby. We sat for hours. You were looking at the stars, and I was looking at you. That night, you were missing someone. Not only could I see it in your eyes, but you told me something I will never forget for as long as I live.

"You know why I love looking up? It's because when I miss someone, no matter how far they are, we are both looking at the same sky. And I know that if he looks up right now, he will see the same thing I see. So after all, we're not all that far away."

Your big round eyes then fell on me. Oh, dearest, every time you would look at me it is as if you see me the first time, but that night... I remember falling. I was falling for so long, but I wasn't afraid because I knew you would be there to catch me. I fell. I fell in love. I fell for you.
You had such a beautiful smile, I wish I could see it again, but...

I know you can't remember what happened an hour ago, so I won't ask you to remember something fifty years ago. My love, all I want you to do is keep this letter. Because I won't be here anymore to tell you how much I love you. I won't be able to take you to the garden every night to watch the stars with you and enjoy your perfect view of the world through your innocent, child-like eyes.

I must go now. You will be fine, and we will meet again. We will be young again, in a special place, just you and me, looking at the stars. Keep dreaming love, and whenever you miss me, just remember, we're both looking at the same sky.

Forever yours,

The one never completely worthy

 - Madame, you have a letter.

 - Oh? Who's it from?

 - It's from your husband.

 - Really? I didn't know I have a husband. What's he like?

 - I am afraid... He's no longer with us. But, he asked me to take you outside, to see the stars.

 - Stars, you say? I like stars. I remember once, when I was young, I watched stars with a beautiful man. I don't remember his name, though... Did you know, child, that when you miss someone, you need only to look at the sky? It is because......

Cicmila

Will you?

Someone...

Anyone...?

Will you hold my hand when I need guidance?

Will you keep me warm when I shake with winter. Will you give me a present just for me? Will you remember my name forever?

Will you never cease to tell me how beautiful I am? Will you stay awake with me when I can't sleep? Will you tell me a story and play me a song when I am bored?

Will you do whatever it takes to make me smile? Will you tell me the truth, even when you think I don't want to hear it? Will you never let me think bad of myself?

Will you be there for me?

Will you see a flower and think of me?

Will you keep the memory of me when I'm not there anymore?

Will you wipe my tears away? Will you call my name in the dense mist? Will you carry me when I can't stand? Will you speak for me when I lose my voice? Will you force me to look when I lose the will?

Will you never leave me, even if I ask it of you?

When I scream at you, tell you I hate you, push you away... Will you come back?

Someone... Anyone...

Will you give me all, no matter the price?

Because it is when you will, that I will never ask you to. And it is only when I know you will never ask all of me, that I will give you exactly that.

Will you?

Cicmila

One of Those Nights

This is just one of those nights.
I know it's gonna be a hard one. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until tomorrow. I want to go to sleep and not wake up until every last child has stopped crying. Until there's not a man in the world thirsty. Until there is not one person in pain and misery.
I want to go to sleep and not wake up until this world is perfect. Not wake up until every broken heart is mended and every soul finds its' way through the world and through life.
But...
That would be a night that would never come to an end.
How can I go to sleep when I know there is a child crying, a man thirsty and people in pain? How can I sleep while this world remains so imperfect, while there are hearts broken and souls lost?
What is the point in sleeping then? When I know I'll wake up to the same world I left behind the previous day?

But I won't give up. I'll wake up tomorrow and help mend a broken heart. I will put a smile on someone's face. I will start the day knowing that I can make a difference. Knowing I MUST make a difference.

So I can lie in bed tonight sure that tomorrow will be a better day than today. Knowing tomorrow the world will be a bit more perfect. Knowing that someone, somewhere, is doing the same thing I am. Knowing someone out there is fighting to see the same day I want to see.

"We can't help everyone, but anyone can help someone."

Cicmila

The Perfect Look

This dress. It's perfect. I know it is, they said so in a fashion magazine last week. It's black, small.
My legs are showing. And they're not perfect. I like them, but others don't, so a pair of tight stockings should cover them up good enough.
My feet are too small, not proportional. I took shoes a few sizes bigger and then filled the top with cotton wool. I hate heels, but they're recommended with my perfect dress.
I saw a makeup look in a magazine too. I bought all the makeup. It's a lot. I don't recognize myself in the mirror. My hair is curly. I like my curls. Now they're gone. It's all straight. It's better like this.
I have big sparkly earrings that pull my ears because they are too heavy. I hide the cuts on my arms with a pair of gloves. The sparkly bracelet is poking my arm, but it looks nice.
I stand in front of the mirror. My neck is all plain except for a medallion. It's my mothers. I took it off. It doesn't go with the dress. I miss knowing my mother. I tie a little black silk scarf around my neck.
I carry a little clutch. It's empty, I don't need it. But everyone carries it, so I have to have one myself.
The bell. He's here. I open the door and greet him with a light kiss on the cheek. I put on a smile and close the door.
"You are beautiful.", he says.
Of course I am...
Right.
Me...

Cicmila

Imagine Freedom

Look through the nearest window. What do you see?
You see a place where you could be. Throw your arms in the air.
Shout.
Shout louder.
Shout as loud as you can, just because you're free and you can.
You're more free than a bird in a cage, than a child in a crib, than a person caring about what others think. You're more free than a flower in a vase, than a hair tide in a tail than a woman in high heels.
You're as free as you think, as beautiful as the mirror tells you, only you and no one else.
Just because you're behind locked doors, in a wheelchair, with no sight, does not mean you're not free! As long as you are not close-minded, and if you can IMAGINE it, than you can be free.

Imagine. There is not a thing in this world more powerful than our imagination. Why? Because it is unlimited. It is untamed. It is beautiful and endless.

Whatever we want, whatever we wish, we can have. Our imagination is what gets us going, what keeps us going. It is our greatest weapon and most powerful shield.

Our imagination is the way we see ourselves, and if we want others to see us in the same light, we have to let our imagination out and let it be seen by others.

Use your imagination in any way you want, because you CAN and because you SHOULD. It's your gift and nobody else's and you mustn't waste it.
Be creative.
Be free.
It's your time to shine.

Cicmila

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Cicmila