On the Other Side

You know that thing we all do
We obsess with things we cannot change
With things that haven't yet even come
But we know they will
Because they are inevitable

And we want to hide and not allow it to come
But we know it cannot be
So we go to the other end
And we obsess and obsess until
Our minds are tortured and we're lost
In the never-ending cycle of depression and
Fake comfort

You know what I'm talking about,
But neither of us wants to say it
You know it's that one thing
That happens all the time.

Death.

Death of hope,
Death of dreams,
Death of love,
Death of life.

But what we always forget
Is to look at the other side
And what we would see
If we just had the guts to look

Is life.

And we forget that if
Something is dying, it means that
It had lived.
And life is precious
So don't you forget it.

Don't you dare forget that
Before death,
There is always
Life.

Cicmila

Letter #4 "After all"

Dear child,
I wish I could tell you that out there is a prefect world. That everyone is always smiling and everyone is nice.That it's never too cold nor too warm. That surviving isn't hard and that you'll be ever so happy. That the law is right and everyone follows it. That you'll never be depressed and you'll never be hurt. That you'll always be loved.
But I'm sorry. This world is far from perfect. You know that when there is more souls dieing than being born. Nowadays, people don't even need anyone else to hurt themselves. And I feel sometimes, that people have forgotten how to love and to accept differences. And muscles in our face got rusty because we cannot remember the last time we honestly smiled. And that is sad.

Forgive me if I scared you. I guess... The world is not that bad after all. There's still friends who talk to each other over coffee. There is a loving couple or two holding hands, walking through the park. The sun shines every once in a while, I promise. Maybe...
Maybe it's not that bad after all.
I hope you make it.

Sincerely,

One from another time.

Cicmila

Post Scriptum

That look of his. After he told me he's sorry, but he cannot look after me. That since my mother died he's not the same. And neither am I. And that he doesn't have the money to support a child in a wheelchair. And I said "OK".
And then I started crying, because I knew I was about to lose the only family I had left. But then he started shouting. He told me I'm ungrateful and I don't understand him. He said it wouldn't be like this if I was normal.
That hurt.
And then he turned away and left. But there, just as he was about to leave my life forever, he turned around and looked at me. That look was such a controversy. Like a stream that forgot that it should end in the ocean, so it ends with a mountain.
Like a fairytale that ends badly at first, but then the true ending is revealed.
Like a tune with two endings.
That one look, so full of sudden love that he almost... forgot to say, but now remembered.
Like that one word that changes the whole sentence.
Like post scriptum.

Cicmila