I'm sorry.
When I had no mother, you were there to fill the void. To step in with all the love in the world and raise me as one of your own. Perhaps I was.
I was not a good person. Not to you. Not to many people. You never saw it. You only saw the good. The raw talent, the bright heart that beats strong and the goodness that was there sometimes.
Sometimes.
You only saw the good. And I abused that for the longest time. I didn't know of anything different. I remember making you cry. I only saw you cry twice in my life. The first time was when I got hurt. I burnt my hand and my little body couldn't stand the pain, so I cried and cried and you, not knowing what to do, you sat next to me and cried with me. The second time, I made you cry. I was only twelve but I said things I'd never even think of saying today. You cried because I was mad at you, and I told you to go away.
I'm sorry.
I cry today when I think of it.
You never got tired of reading the same stories. Even long after I could read, you would still read them to me. When I think of them, I still hear them in your voice. I never told you that.
I never told you how much you mean to me.
Not even as I write this.
You got lost in the times. When friends, technology and problems started to occupy my time, I left no space for you. You felt it. I pushed you away, and no matter how much you did your best to try to stay in my life, I simply pushed you away.
I'm sorry.
I never meant to lose you.
And I didn't. No matter how much I pushed you away, you never gave up on me. You never got mad at me. No matter how much I hurt you.
I don't have many memories that I remember fondly. Almost all of them include you. When everything seemed so dark and when I saw no exit, you were there. Like the last match in the box, you burned bright and you never extinguished. You never knew what was going on in my head. I never wanted you to know. I thought you wouldn't understand. You would have. I still won't tell you. In your world, problems were small. It was a missed hairdresser appointment or TV show episode. A burnt lunch or shoes that gave you blisters. You went through so much before I knew you. You deserve to have only small problems now. It seems like the only big problem you have now
Is me.
I'm sorry. When I had no one, you were my best friend. When I would come home crying you asked why. I never told you. You still held me. I wish I treated you better. It is my only regret in life.
I miss you. every day.
And the worst part is
You're still just a phone call away.
I'm sorry I never call.
I love you.
When I had no mother, you were there to fill the void. To step in with all the love in the world and raise me as one of your own. Perhaps I was.
I was not a good person. Not to you. Not to many people. You never saw it. You only saw the good. The raw talent, the bright heart that beats strong and the goodness that was there sometimes.
Sometimes.
You only saw the good. And I abused that for the longest time. I didn't know of anything different. I remember making you cry. I only saw you cry twice in my life. The first time was when I got hurt. I burnt my hand and my little body couldn't stand the pain, so I cried and cried and you, not knowing what to do, you sat next to me and cried with me. The second time, I made you cry. I was only twelve but I said things I'd never even think of saying today. You cried because I was mad at you, and I told you to go away.
I'm sorry.
I cry today when I think of it.
You never got tired of reading the same stories. Even long after I could read, you would still read them to me. When I think of them, I still hear them in your voice. I never told you that.
I never told you how much you mean to me.
Not even as I write this.
You got lost in the times. When friends, technology and problems started to occupy my time, I left no space for you. You felt it. I pushed you away, and no matter how much you did your best to try to stay in my life, I simply pushed you away.
I'm sorry.
I never meant to lose you.
And I didn't. No matter how much I pushed you away, you never gave up on me. You never got mad at me. No matter how much I hurt you.
I don't have many memories that I remember fondly. Almost all of them include you. When everything seemed so dark and when I saw no exit, you were there. Like the last match in the box, you burned bright and you never extinguished. You never knew what was going on in my head. I never wanted you to know. I thought you wouldn't understand. You would have. I still won't tell you. In your world, problems were small. It was a missed hairdresser appointment or TV show episode. A burnt lunch or shoes that gave you blisters. You went through so much before I knew you. You deserve to have only small problems now. It seems like the only big problem you have now
Is me.
I'm sorry. When I had no one, you were my best friend. When I would come home crying you asked why. I never told you. You still held me. I wish I treated you better. It is my only regret in life.
I miss you. every day.
And the worst part is
You're still just a phone call away.
I'm sorry I never call.
I love you.