Too Old

She felt old. Like the world was pushing down on her for too long and she did not have springs in her feet to jump back up. Like yesterday's sunset was the last one she will ever see. Like for the first time, life is too long.
Like she had already passed the finish line, but she kept running.
Like being alone wasn't punishment enough, it had to last forever, and then when she found someone, she lost them in a blink.
Her eyes could not see the far away bright expectations others had, nor could they see the little miracles right before them. They could only see that cold, empty space in the middle.
Sometimes here views were brightened by the glasses of a laugh following a family dinner burnt chicken, or a grandchild's picture just for her, but those were merely moments.
She would slowly walk the peaceful park she use to storm through, making sure she's not home late from the dance.
Her lungs were too weak to accept all the air she wanted them to have, and the smell of sweet flowers no longer reached her memories.
She was lost in the town she grew up in, feeling very well every one of her memories being pushed out and replaced by someone else's, younger and stronger.

She did not know about the bright memories others had of her, never to be forgotten.
So she felt too old.

Cicmila

Letter #5 "Dear Rain"

Dear rain,

There are so many things I could say. We've been friends since the earliest days, and my god, have I grown fond of you! You seem so perfect, the way you set the mood. Sometimes I think you are all a day is missing. You see the world in such a special way, and I am forever grateful to you for trying to show me that. You, of course, washed away all my fears, I feel safer with you around at night. You go perfect with tea and piano. With warm hugs, or blankets. Or both.
On my first ever concert, you made the piano keys so slippery I made countless mistakes. I don't resent it, you made it special.
When I didn't know what to do you would always unite me with someone under an umbrella. I would escape that, of course: it's so unfair that you have traveled so far, just to be denied touching my skin.
Dearest rain, I love you. You make every moment that more special, and you make decisions that much easier to live with.
But rain, you made mistakes. I will never forget what you did may, 2014. You took so many lives, how could you?! I can't forgive you for that. I won't.
Oh, rain, you seem to follow me everywhere I go, so I've made peace with you and let you in once again. Thank you, rain, for everything. You mean so much to me, you will never know. If I ever have a daughter, that's what I will name her, Rain.
Come on, rain, let's hold hands and walk down the path to a new year once again. I will be waiting for you on the other side of winter.
See you soon, dear friend.

Yours always,