Perfect

Inside of me, lies a demon.

It's ugly and small, and it feeds on my fears and doubts. I hate it, and it loves it, because my hate makes him even bigger.
If it's one of those days when it's cold outside, and I just don't feel like even getting out of bed, those are the days it loves the most.
It speaks. It tells me I'm not good enough, doesn't let me get to my reasons to live.
But it's not all that bad. I hate it so much I often do things I know it'll dislike: I take care of myself, I love myself, I help out others. That's my little way of rebellion. That's how, in a way, the demon helps me. It makes me push myself more and strive for perfection. It only tells the truth, but if I'm perfect, there's nothing it can say.
...Right?
That's what I think, so I do my best to live my life the way I find perfect. But, the more things I change to perfect, the more new things it finds. It's a fight for survival, I guess. Only one of us can win, and it's a never-ending battle.
Today, I've lost the fight.
I know because I'm alone, in a dark corner of the room, crying.
Today, it got me, and now my tears are like an elixir to it. I hate it.
And that makes it stronger.
Today I've lost the fight.
But tomorrow is another day.
Another fight.
Tomorrow, I can win.
Tomorrow, I can be...

...Perfect.

Cicmila

Today Is a Good Day

Today is a good day.
Often we think something has to go from bad to good for a day to be a good day, but you know what? It doesn't work that way!
Why can't it be enough to just see the sun and feel happy? Even if nothing special happened to you today, it did to someone else, and there's your reason to be happy. Be glad for someone else!
Close your eyes and feel the sun's heat on your skin after a long winter.
Hear a child's laugh, and smile.
Set yourself a small goal and accomplish it, then be proud of yourself.
Help out a stranger.
Help out a friend.
Exchange a smile, or at least try to. Maybe the other person won't smile back, but be sure they will remember your smile.
Call a friend you haven't seen in a long time. Just say hi. Wish them a happy day.
Run across a park and do a cartwheel or two. Feel free, because you are free.
Show love. Just do it.
Feel good about yourself. You're the one and only you and nobody can be as good of a you as you are.
Do something fun.
Be positive. Negativity won't do you any good. Be positive!
Take a marker and draw on your wall. Or write. Write out something positive to see every morning.
Drink coffee and/or eat chocolate. No need for explanation.
Don't worry. Will the thing you're worried about be important in two weeks? How about two years? See? No need for worry.
Hold a hand.
Apologize.
Make something and give it away to someone.
Be happy.

Do any of those thing today,
and make today a good day.
It's as simple as that.
Good luck! :)

Cicmila

The Controversial Keys, part 3

Make sure you check out parts 1 and 2!(http://storytimewithcicmila.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-controversial-keys-part-1.html http://storytimewithcicmila.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-controversial-keys-part-2.html)

...
Alex was a quiet boy in my class. He was a violinist, and a very good one, but he didn't talk a lot. One day we had an assignment to pair up and compose a two minute piece. Since I was still a pretty lone girl, everybody had already paired up, except for Alex.
We stayed a few times after class and worked in a separate classroom, getting our piece done. It was a nice blend of soothing piano background and a thrilling violin solo. We both liked it, and it fitted our personalities. How ever quiet Alex may have seemed, he was very enthusiastic and passionate about his music.
When the piece was finished, we had practice less frequent. The presentation was due two weeks from now, so we met every third day to play it once or twice. In class, he would smile at me when I would catch his eye, but aside from that we didn't communicate a lot. Still, that was enough for me.

So the day has arrived of our presentation and the whole amphitheater was filled with students of all classes and a few professors as well.We did not dream that it would get that big, thinking it is a simple closed project. I was so nervous I threw up at one point, but Alex helped me to keep my cool.

The piano was there, near the center of the stage, showered by bright yellow light. It was calling me, this was my moment to shine. I, most of all, didn't want to fail Alex.
So, there it came, my first public performance.

Cicmila