I grew up being told that too much of anything is bad. So on my own I developed a "a little bit of anything can't hurt" lifestyle. I was having fun and it was going great. I had a bit of it all and I loved it.
But some things I wanted more of. I guess you can never know how much you can take before "a little bit" turns to "too much". But i thought I could handle it.
No, sorry to break it to you, this is not a story about drugs or alcohol. I stayed clear of that because people warned me it would lead me astray.
But nobody warns you about the one thing that took me over.
As a child, I was always favored for being so ambitious. My parents were proud of me for knowing in first grade where I wanted to go to college.
But my ambition drove me mad. i was always looking years, decades ahead. I was as successful as anyone could wish to be. Other people didn't understand me. I married a man who wanted me for my money, but he left when I told him the date I wish to give birth to my first child.
My ambition made me paranoid and afraid of fate and coincidence. I didn't leave anything to chance.
Not even my death.
I am sixty one as I write this and twenty years ago I hired an assassin to kill me on this night.
i cannot call him off. this is the last thing I will ever write. The last thing I will ever do. This is a warning.
Life is not worth living if we leave nothing to chance and fate.
I hear my death knocking on the door. Here's my last message, I better make it quick.
Let go and enjoy. I wish I cou
But some things I wanted more of. I guess you can never know how much you can take before "a little bit" turns to "too much". But i thought I could handle it.
No, sorry to break it to you, this is not a story about drugs or alcohol. I stayed clear of that because people warned me it would lead me astray.
But nobody warns you about the one thing that took me over.
As a child, I was always favored for being so ambitious. My parents were proud of me for knowing in first grade where I wanted to go to college.
But my ambition drove me mad. i was always looking years, decades ahead. I was as successful as anyone could wish to be. Other people didn't understand me. I married a man who wanted me for my money, but he left when I told him the date I wish to give birth to my first child.
My ambition made me paranoid and afraid of fate and coincidence. I didn't leave anything to chance.
Not even my death.
I am sixty one as I write this and twenty years ago I hired an assassin to kill me on this night.
i cannot call him off. this is the last thing I will ever write. The last thing I will ever do. This is a warning.
Life is not worth living if we leave nothing to chance and fate.
I hear my death knocking on the door. Here's my last message, I better make it quick.
Let go and enjoy. I wish I cou
Cicmila
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